Avoiding Abusive Relationships: What You Need to Know


Domestic abuse can be a hard thing for many people to come forward about. After all, how can you turn in a person you know intimately? It is much easier to talk about crimes committed by strangers. However, more people need to be aware of just how much of a problem this is. 

In the United States alone, it is estimated that around 20 people a minute are hurt by their partner. This equates to around ten million people each year. The issue is so pervasive that domestic abuse accounts for around 15 percent of all violent crime! 

While encouraging victims to speak up is a good starting point, it just isn’t enough. Both women and men – although women, especially – need to be taught how to avoid such relationships in the first place. Here are the top points to be aware of: 

Know Who You Are Becoming Involved With 

It can be so easy to get swept away when you first meet someone. After all, it is all romantic dates and sweet gestures. At this point in the relationship, you may not feel the need to look any farther than this. In fact, most people prefer to simply enjoy this phase while it lasts. 

Well, you need to start taking a different approach. Before getting involved with someone, a little research is necessary. Now, you don’t have to go crazy and stalk all their friends on social media. There are more subtle ways to manage your investigation. 

One thing that you can do is to visit https://www.checkpeople.com/mugshot-search and check out if someone has a criminal history. This is also a good way to determine if someone is actually who they say they are. If the individual has been accused of a crime, find out about this. For instance, if someone has been arrested for assault or domestic abuse, there is a good chance they will do something like that again. Steer clear of such individuals. 

Be Aware of the Warning Signs

It is unlikely that an obviously abusive relationship will take place right away. Most abusers will build up to it. In the meantime, though, there will be plenty of red flags. Now, the problem arises when the other person in the relationship chooses to avoid these signs. When you do this, the situation can escalate further. So, make sure to know which signs to look out for. 

One of the main things that abusers will try to do is to monitor and navigate every aspect of your life. They may do this by isolating you from friends and family and trying to get you to do things their way. With time, they will require you to get their permission before you are allowed to do something. 

Another thing to watch out for is their sense of superiority. Not only will they have a rather high opinion of themselves, but abusers will also criticize and tear other people down as well. It is a good idea to watch how they talk about ex-partners. If they use derogatory terms or describe numerous fights, this is certainly a red flag as well. 

Words Can Hurt Too

Now, physical abuse is easy to spot – there are bruises and injuries to mark the abuse. When the harm is emotional or mental, however, it isn’t quite as obvious. This is why some people may languish in such relationships for years. 

Nonetheless, it is important for you to understand the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship as well. These types of abusers will use demeaning language and threats against you. They may also make you feel worthless or ashamed of yourself in some way. 

They may withhold affection whenever they feel like you have wronged them. Such individuals also tend to blame the other person for everything, whenever they can. In fact, they may even point the finger at you for their own behavior. If these are things you observe, then you should certainly get help. 

The First Time Should Be the Last 

When an abuser first lashes out – either emotionally or physically – they may seem remorseful afterward. They may apologize profusely and beg your forgiveness. A common thing that such people do is to promise you that it will never happen again. However, if it happened once, then there is a good chance that such behavior will continue. 

Therefore, it is up to you to make sure that it doesn’t. As soon as you feel that it is safe enough to leave, you should. Go to someone that you trust and stay with them. Now, there is a good chance that your partner may find you and use a variety of tactics to get you back. You shouldn’t fall for them. 

Maintain Control 

One of the reasons that victims find it so difficult to leave their abusers is because the perpetrators have taken control of their lives. In particular, their partner may have seized financial control and taken over their bank accounts and all ties to money. 

To prevent this from happening, you should always maintain control over your finances. This includes your own bank account, savings account, and ATM card. Make sure that you have access to money whenever you need it. 

Continue Your Friendships and Other Relationships

Just because you find a partner doesn’t mean that all your other social ties have to be severed. In fact, if you want to have a healthy relationship, it is important that both parties maintain friendships with other people. You should also get into the habit of organizing activities with other individuals as well. 

There is no need for both of you to spend every moment together. And, if your partner insists on this, it is not a good sign. Not to mention, maintaining your friendships ensures that you have someone to turn to if your relationship sours. 

These are the top ways that you can avoid an abusive relationship at all costs. Remember, if you feel threatened by your partner, you should always turn to friends, family members, or organizations that can extract you from that situation.