Although parents are children’s first teachers, there’s only so much knowledge and wisdom that parents can impart to their children before letting them make their own decisions. Parents can only provide guidance and advice if their children make mistakes, but whether or not the children willingly follow or listen is another issue entirely.
Thus, when we address sensitive topics such as struggles with addiction in adulthood, it’s a precarious boundary to navigate. On one hand, any parent would want to do everything in their power to help their kids and solve their issues, but on the other hand, these kids are full-grown adults and completely accountable for their actions. Therefore, it’s not uncommon to witness many parents break down in anguish over being helpless in their children’s situation; feeling utterly guilty and helpless in delivering their child out of their misery. What parents can do best is get professional medical care and support for their children to get them back on the right path.
It’s Their Own Battles
However, as a parent, you must remember that you shouldn’t be investing more time and effort than your children are. Firstly, they should feel ready to enact change within themselves before any other external or secondary forms of assistance can be administered. This is a fundamental principle and truth that all counselors learn and acknowledge before being licensed to counsel. Help met with resistance is futile.
Sadly, we often witness this reverse of parents significantly putting in a greater amount of energy than their children even though the addiction is not their battle to fight. Regardless of whether you chide, guilt-trip, or threaten your child into submission or abandonment, no severity of actions would be sufficient if your child remains stubborn, indignant, and oblivious to his or her situation. Until your child is ready to accept reality and begin the journey of recovery, nothing can change their mind.
I’m sure many parents of suffering addicts long for the day their child would finally be recovered — be it counting their lucky stars after being awarded a second chance at life or getting themselves back up on their own two feet and tackling their life with full fervor. All these instances are wonderful circumstances of which any parent would love to see their child flourish. Those are truly satisfying moments.
However, with any form of addiction, it’s a long-term battle. You’ll win some and lose some; sometimes the victories can last for months to years, but sometimes all it takes is one tiny trigger to dismantle all the progress that you’ve made so far. However, it’s pertinent to realize that if your child messes up and relapses, it’s okay. The fear of recidivism is an understandable cause for concern for recovering addicts. No one ever gets it right during the first try. It’s only through experience that we learn how to avoid the same mistakes in the future and improve with time.
Time to Celebrate?
Although sobriety is a definite occasion for celebration, there are healthier ways to celebrate than to offer your child a bottle of champagne. Even if it’s for congratulatory purposes, enabling them access to the slightest drop of alcohol can have potentially devastating consequences as it undermines all their efforts so far by triggering a spiral back into their addiction. Having “just a glass” will be the trigger for more glasses and subsequently, more bottles to come. Alcohol has plenty of effects on our body, one of that is Alcohol Flush, if you want remedy for it, you can check asian flush cure online.
However, this doesn’t insinuate we start being hypervigilant and overly-restrictive on our children. Your child isn’t incapable of self-control and discipline. They are their own person with their own strengths and faults; there’s no use “hawk-eyeing” their every move. If they fail, they fail but as long as you’ve provided them with the necessary support and concern in every step of their journey thus far, it’s all that they could’ve ever asked for.
Thus, help your children from afar by ensuring that their environment is supportive and nurturing to begin with. Remove or at least hide away any sources of alcohol or substances in the household, be it the family home or their own personal apartment. Physically disabling them access to any source of addiction will greatly minimize their risk of relapse.
The Limitations of Stewardship
Also, although common sense and the human experience dictates that the propensity to relapse might be higher as a coping mechanism in times of difficulties and hardships, we must remain steadfast in the belief that the first step to true recovery is trust. Without the foundation of trust, there’s no basis for mutual understanding and confidence in your child by not believing in their ability to overcome their struggles from the get-go. As a result, you’re essentially setting them up for failure from the start.
Hence, having trust in your child translates to not over-worrying or stressing over every single inconvenience that he or she faces. Life waits for no one and will continue on with no reservation. Regardless of your child’s present condition of recovering, he or she will still continue to face other typical difficulties in life such as occupational stresses or relationship troubles. Whatever it may be, you must stay grounded as their parent and number one supporter. If they’re to succeed, you mustn’t suspect them of resorting to their original habits of addiction for every problem they encounter.
Sometimes, a parent’s fears for their children will outweigh their own personal fears. The sense of stewardship for children’s wellbeing stemming from maternal and paternal love is incredibly strong, placing parents in the position to look out for warning signs in their children’s lives before they themselves are aware. Hence, this is the fatal flaw of parenthood — parents will foresee potential roadblocks and be aware of the full consequences for their children’s poor choices and insufficient commitment or willpower to sobriety. Yet, they’re unable to “force” or “prevent” their children from them. They just have to let them make those mistakes and learn from them.
Even though your child is back on the right track, we must acknowledge that a “new normal” now exists within the household. Despite the tag of sobriety being labeled, life wouldn’t quite be the same with the new tension of recidivism precariously looming over your shoulders. Be aware of these demons but also remain a positive outlook on life. Fear and negativity never got anyone anywhere, only love with a healthy mix of optimism and realism can truly guarantee success.